The Awkward When High Friend

How You Met:
You and Louis were friends back when Blink182 was the soundtrack to your lives and drinking your mom's shitty coolers in the parking lot of a department store with two other guys was your idea of a big Friday night. Somewhere a long the line when Kevin kissed Tracy while he was dating Ashley and Louis told Kristy in an unknown 3-way-call with Ashley, shit hit the fan, and you lost touch. But it wasn't a big deal really, because it was Ashley's fault anyway.


Your Relationship Now:
Some years later, you both are working as computer programmers for some ridiculous children's game that teaches them how to read and do yoga at the same time. On your breaks you start to realize that Louis is a cool guy. So you start getting together after work to crush a few brews once in a while. One night, after a particularly rambunctious evening out, you invite him back to your place to blaze a j, order pizza, and play a video game. Just after smokin' a fat one, you look at your friend and realize that he definitely doesn't smoke weed often. Gregarious Louis has morphed into one awkward mother fucker.

You try to ease his jitters and sketchy stares with some casual toilet talk and sports statistics. You even pull out your weird over-40 porn collection to have a laugh, but he can't enjoy it because he is too worried about the police showing up at your front door. So when the pizza man makes the mistake of thumping on your antique door knocker instead of using your pussy doorbell, Louis goes ape shit. He does one lap of you living, grabs his coat and peaces out.

The next day at work, Louis is back to his fun loving self and you feel like you are friends with Jekyll and High-ed.


How Do You Deal?
The obvious answer for most people would be to stop smoking with Louis. But then, if you let your friend live his whole life being the Awkward When High Friend, what kind of friend does that make you? Instead, you decide to engage Louis in some intensive training, or what you call your life from 2001 to 2007. You pull out all the stops; bongs, vaporizers, pipes, cookies, blunts, and those creepy masks from WWII. You indulge him in your highly intellectual movie collection; Half Baked, White Boys, Super High Me, and the Labrynth from good measure. You feel like a drill sergeant who can't remember what he is drilling.

After six weeks, you and Louis have consumed 18 bags of dill pickle chips dipped in dill pickle dip, 16 party pizzas, 19 bricks of cheese, and had the same conversation 28 times. But the point isn't the conversations you're having, the point is that you are having them while you are high.

So pat yourself on the back, because Louis is no longer the Awkward When Stoned Friend...he's the Always Stoned Friend.


This Friend Is Compatible With:
The Always Stoned Friend
The Really Bad Advice Friend

Love Forever,
Sh-Bear, C-Monster and Jah-Day